Desperate, and seeking prayers.

[Tracey]

Let me first begin by saying, that I haven't been on lately, and the biggest reason is due to the situation that has been going on, and my need for prayers. Frank and Deb got the opportunity to meet my daughter at the dinner. She was pleasant and happy-go-lucky. Problems started practically, the very next day. Defiance has always been a problem. But since that day, it has progressed to unbelieveable proportions. I have had to deal with new stunts, in her defiant quest. I started taking her to a therapist, (and THAT evens starts the "motor to hell") Anyways she has been also diagnosed ODD(oppositional defiance disorder), on top of the ADHD. The stress of everything is causing me to have anxiety problems. (fearful of what the next day is going to bring). I am begging for prayers. I don't know how or what will bring my baby back, except for prayers. I can't even get her to take her medication. Just know, that my life for the past 2 1/2 months has been like hell on earth. No one knows what it's like, unless they are living it. I get alot of unwanted remarks, comments and pointers on what I should do, but it's always from people that have "no clue". Truly, right now, i am venting, because there has been a small break in the chaos. But it will begin again, soon. I could handle the adhd, to a point. But this new one, is more than I can handle alone. Please pray for Cheyenne to get better. And you can say a prayer for me, to be able to handle it. I went through similiar problems with my son, and he's doing much better with his decision-making, but Cheyenne is much worse. And I have the added burden of her dad, telling her it's ok to act that way. Thank you, friends, in advance. If I wasn't crazy before, I'm heading that way now.

[miker]

Tracey sorry to hear about it, I know ADHD is tough to deal with from first hand experience, I couldn't imagine that on top of it, wil keep you and Cheyenne in my prayers. miker

[morelmaniac]

Tracy,
I went through what you are now going through for three years before I could get the doctor to take me seriously about my son. I know how tring your daughter can be (relating to my experience with Austin,) Just keep to your guns. I will pray that it gets easier for you. Have you heard of the book, " 1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph. D. Not sure how old Cheyenne is but this is very effective disciple for 2-12. I learned a lot of things that I was doing was intaginazing him to keep acting up. Feel free to email me to just have some one to talk to anytime. I have delt with this problem ontop on Britt's problems, and now have decided for the best interest and guidance for them I will be home schooling them, for the one on one that they need. I do feel for you and there is tricks to getting her to take her meds. Just have to be slyer than she. My thoughts and prayers are there for her and you.
Your friend,
MM

[Debbie]

Tracey, my heart goes out to you both at this time. It can be so traumatic the teen years, then add these problems and it turns into a living nightmare for all concerned.

I will spare you the "advice" section and just tell you that if you ever want to talk, even just to vent, please call me. I am more than willing to listen and maybe will even have an idea or so to help you both out, never know.

Hang in there as someday you will see the little girl you loved start to peek out again more and more.

Debbie

[Tracey]

I only have a few moments, as we are off to another counselling appt. But I wanted to say thank you for the kind words and prayers. I have been patient in waiting for things to turn around (thinking that hormones are probably playing a role). But I am not a professional in having to deal with these kind of matters, and to be honest, thought I had seen, and done it all, to be able to handle the situation. But, at this point, I am truly lost. I think I am very naive' to what has been actually going on. I have been just living from one minute to the next, in hopes that things will get better with the proper handling of each new situation. I never really paid much attention to what I call the "generation x" type diagnosises. They can give it a diagnosis, but can't give me answers as to "how" or "why". They easily spout "enviromental" factors, but can't do any brain tests unless there are physical characteristics as well. I'm just frustrated by the whole situation. I believe in prayer. I trust in God. And that is pretty much what I am left with. I think today, I will take her to a spot I've been wanting to check for some mushrooms. It's pretty secluded, so I won't have to worry too much about her wandering away. Bless you all. I love my friends here. And thanx for letting me vent.

[DGBAY]

Tracey,
I will say prayers for you and Cheyenne. The walk in the woods sounds like a good one on one. Hope it turns out good. It's a pretty day here, and hoping it's the same there for your walk.

God Bless...

[charlie]

Tracey, We have raised 5 kids & never had a problem like that, so I won't comment. But I can offer my prayers & wish you good luck. God Bless!

[Judy]

Tracey, I too will be keeping your daughter, you, and family in my prayers. I can only imagine how stressful this must be. I am so glad you are trying to get her some help. Hang in there. Judy

[Frank]

I hope you are not driving yourself crazy by wondering if you are doing the exact "right" thing each and every time Tracey. That can and will defeat your natural loving parent instinct.

I don't know of a single perfect parent. Never in time has there ever been nor will there ever be "a perfect parent". So hang in there and let God and nature take it's course.

Of course we are all here for you and will be offering up prayers.
You've made many friends through this board. Just look at the sea of shoulders for you to lean on.

You and Cheyenne will make it through this and you both shall live. Just maybe not quietly.

[Tracey]

Thank you for the prayers! Please keep 'em coming! I'll keep this short, as I'm very tired. But, basically Cheyenne said things in counselling, that caused the counsellor to recommend her being placed in a residential treatment center. I have been worried sick for days, fearing they were coming to take her away. And it still may be a possibility. But, I have comfort now, in knowing that Cheyenne said she wasn't going anywhere. (meaning= she will work hard at controlling her problems) I didn't think the state could just come in and remove children, without first doing an investigation. But, after consulting my attny. was informed that they remove first, ask questions later, and if she continues her behaviors, could end up in the system for years. I have praying to no end. We've had many talks and many loud talks over the past few days. I explained what ODD was, and just like the adhd, it is not her fault. Just something she was born with. But it is up to her to learn to manage it properly. I explained that now she can also be a role model for her dad, because he has struggled for years, and I don't want her to struggle like he has. And that seemed to give her positive encouragement. So hopefully all this chaos will at least be manageable. She is such a sweet girl. And I won't give up on her. And please know that I am so blessed to have such great people to confide in. And thank you soooo much for the prayers. I'll know more in the next few days, as to what's going to happen. I will re-post then.

[7707]

Tracey, I have'nt posted on your request, but have been praying for you and Cheyenne. I have no advice other than stay strong and keep the faith in God. steve

[DGBAY]

Tracey,
Good to hear that Cheyenne hasn't given up on herself. Sounds like she is strong willed, and I am praying this will be to her advantage.

My continued prayers.....:rose:

[Tracey]

Thank you all for the prayers. I won't go into detail about all the gruesome going-ons, but let me just say, to say the least, its been a pure nightmare. Things coming from all directions. I've never experienced the things I have had to experience. To add to it, Shawn was fired because of this. And now my ex is threatening custody. I would have never imagined that things would get like this. I am a strong person, and now I have people worried about me. Just keep praying, because there have been moments that it felt like it was over and I think it's because of the prayers. I get a 2 week break, because she is north visiting ex's family. It will give me time to get everything into proper prospective. I can handle adhd, but no one ever told me that odd could also develop. (and odd can develop into cd-conduct disorder, which can develop into scizophrenia, or bi-polar!) I just take each day as it comes, and try to keep "the triggers"(that cause her "going off") at bay. Please don't worry about me! You all have such caring hearts, and I feel guilty at times for even bringing my problems to the board. But I need as many prayers as I can get, to get through this. I want to get back to talking about mushrooms! I did get a chance to get her and I into the woods, and found several mushrooms, including one I believe is a king bolete. I will post pics when I get more time. News flash! Shawns boss just called- he wants him to come back. With a pay cut:eyebrow: (don't know if he'll accept it yet). But at least its a good thing! please keep us in your prayers, and I"ll hope and pray to post happy things soon!

[obSEssed]

Tracey, so sorry to hear of your recent experiences with Cheyenne. It was such a pleasure to meet her, as well as you and Shawn, at the dinner in May. Let us hope that some time apart may be just the thing she needs to alter her perspective, as well as allowing you to recharge and relax a bit.

[morelmaniac]

Tracy,
Stay stong, determined and keep a sense of self! I know I keep refering to books when I post, but this is how I get through my days. Might be helpful to consider reading"Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell, MD & John J. Ratey, MD or The Bipolar Child by Demitri Papolos MD & Janice Papolos. I have delt with many a thing, but have not had to deal with them telling me that a treatment center is where he needs to go. I am at a lose for words. I know how fustrating it is. And I know how it is confusing. I would love to send emails to you so you can privately and openly discuss further upsets and good news. I am praying that Cheyenne remembers that she don't want to go anywhere and gets determined to beat the disorder. Don't be to scared about what they are throwing at you far as what else could happen. Just take it one things at a time and remeber that God is Good ALL the Time!
Your Friend,
rmgowen@verizon.net
Regina

[Frank]

Tracey, I'm so glad that you and Cheyenne both got a break from the conflict for a while. It's great that you got to spend some time in nature with her. Even though it may have been short lived, it will count in the end.

Good to hear from you and see your smile again!

[Tracey]

Chey's been doing welll. Thank you!!!!!