Wife filed for divorce.

[Frank]

We will pray that Gods will be done.

[shroom vaccuum]

So sorry to hear of your turmoil. Prayers are being sent you way.

[gab]

bossgobbler, sorry to hear this news. I will pray that God will give you stength, show you what you need to do, and that God will work in your wife's heart so that your wife's and your relationship and marraige will be restored.

[BikerDude]

You will in our payers too, Bossgobbler.
Hang in there,

[Happy Trails]

Ron,

I'll add you to my prayers and ask for reconciliation. I believe it is best, for us to search our own heart honestly and seek out consul of a close truthful friend or clergyman, to make absolutely sure we are not part of the problem. I'm not trying to put you on a guilt trip, but from my own experiences this step is necessary for the peace that comes if the relationship cannot be salvaged. By trying to see our own responsibility in the matter, we can rest assured that we have done everything we could have possibly done. Here is some advice that was given me many moons ago, that helped me: 1) "Don't hang on to tight - that’s like Danny died twenty years ago and his bedroom still looks like it did the day he died (guilt)." That's living in the past and one can't grow from that position. "Don't be a doormat - it's not attractive". 2) "Don't let go to easy - that’s like Bad Damn Dog anyway, good thing it got run over". That is living with bitterness and one can't grow from that position. "Don't be a bully - that's not attractive either.


I do understand, these relationship issues are never easy. I know I probably have sounded like an outhouse psychologist, so instead let me say:

Best wishes and may God bless.

George

[Deanna]

my thoughts and prayers and with you and your wife..may God's will be done!

[Ohio Transplant]

bossgobbler, first allow me to welcome you to this board, and I am thankful you came here. Second, it's very hard to follow the eloquent words of our friend Happy Trails, who moved me after reading his gained wisdom, and third, in my case, I have learned that true solice and understanding comes from within, and believe me, thats a hard lesson that sometimes needs to be pounded into my ever-thickening skull.
I have had the fortune, or misfortune more than once to be privy to some relationships that have taken a turn for the worse, and usually in my somewhat hazed experience, there is life after.........love.
I can type to you with my wishes and blessings for everything to work out for you and your wife, but it's tougher to take the rougher road, and let you know, that no matter what happens, that life awaits you. And through the pain, and the screen of tears, happiness is just a step away.
Ones life plans are never etched in stone, and for that reason, I keep searching. I trust that you will do the same.
Now, best wishes to you and again, thank you for having the trust in these people here to listen to you. You will find no better, anywhere. These people can pull you up by the boot straps when noone else can, and Lord knows, I get my ample share of council from all of them. As I tell a good friend often, smile. It'll be alright.

[FlaShroomer]

Ron,

I can't possibly give you any advice as I don't know your situation, but I can share my story and hope that it helps a bit.

About 2 years back my wife of 18 years decided she had to divorce me and we had the papers all drawn up and all they needed was the signatures.

I sat down with my Pastor and asked him if I should sign them and just get it over with. He told me that Jesus had instructed husbands to lay down their lives for their wives as He had for the church. He went on to explain that Christ hadn't held anything back or claimed any rights when He died for me on the cross. He simply loved me.

My Pastor explained that this is what I was called to do more than anything else and that if I did this one thing well while accomplishing nothing else for the Kingdom of God, He would tell me, "Well done" when I get to the promised land.

So we prayed that the Holy Spirit would guide and empower me and I kept praying and reading His word every day.

I told my wife that I had decided to love her well and that I was sorry but I couldn't sign the papers. She said she didn't believe me and I was amazed when I heard myself say that I didn't blame her and that she had no reason to. (Right then I knew that Christ could indeed work through me.)

From that day on between the Holy Spirit, my Pastor and my best Christian buddy, I managed to hold pretty true to loving her without expecting anything in return.

After about six months, she told me she had never been loved like that in her life and that she wanted to stay and work it out.

I still frequently have to remind myself that marriage is not a 50-50 proposition; its a 100% die-to-myself proposition that is only possible because of the overwhelming indebtedness I feel to Jesus Christ and my desire to love Him in response to His love for me.

I will be praying that Jesus fills you with His love to overflowing and a peace that will pass understanding.

Thomas

[Tracey]

Loss, no matter what kind, is always just that. A loss. The key is to remember that things happen for a reason, and often times, after a loss, much joy can be found when we think it will never be found again. It may not be believeable "at the moment". But the only way we know, is by having our faith.
As far as the moral issue of marriage and divorce. I don't know what your beliefs are on this, but I leave that to the church. You will find peace, no matter what you feel now. God Bless. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Tracey

[lindamay]

I'll have you in my prayers also.
Lindamay

[stevo]

bossgobbler , i got married at age 21 and divorced in a year from mellissa. got married again to terry had two wonderful children in seven years of marriage , then ,yup divorce. but it does'nt stop here. got married to sherry had two beautiful children , but seems like crap follows me wherever i go , divorced again ! while we were seperated my second wife kept bugging me to go out again , for months i finally gave in , but told her to leave me alone because the feelings just were not there . then my last wife sherry wanted to get back together ,yup , got married again . we live a different life now . all of the ducks are in a row . i've never been so confused in all my life , as i read this i am getting confused again , looks like a mess , but sometimes you have to go through all this crap to find true love. i could not see myself with any other woman as sherry is the one. gosh i'm tired now. it is said the good lord will never put more on your shoulders than you can handle . i wish you happiness.

[7707]

AMEN!!!!!