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Old Jul 16, 2011, 4:02 am   #1
Frank
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Old Age ain't for sissies!

Just before the funeral service the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I've got poor circulation; can't hardly feel my hands or feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98. Not to mention I've lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief”


THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..
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Old Jul 16, 2011, 9:57 am   #2
BikerDude
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Name: Jim
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Midland Co.
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Re: Old Age ain't for sissies!

Good ones! Too true to be funny @ our age! LOL
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Old Jul 16, 2011, 7:17 pm   #3
Justapickin
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Name: Gary
Northern, Michigan USA
Join Date: Apr 26, 2003
Posts: 1,967

Re: Old Age ain't for sissies!

LMAO...
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Old Jul 16, 2011, 8:54 pm   #4
chigger
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Name: Sharon
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Centreville
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Re: Old Age ain't for sissies!

good one! #3 reminded me of my sis in law
I specially like the last one
May post that on my fb page
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