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Old Apr 13, 2004, 8:48 am   #11
Tracey
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Name: Tracey
Southern, Michigan USA
Fairgrove
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Thank you friends. Sometimes when I post about things of this nature, I think I should just keep my business at home. But, at the same time, I hope that someone else may see what this does to the loved ones, and maybe someone else will see the hurt they are causing their family. I try to keep a happy life, but then I get a few days of hell, intertwined. I think the past few days, is just that time. Chris still hasn't called me yet. He is 18. I just keep trusting in God, to show him the way. I don't think this will last his lifetime. But, I do like your idea Frank! I will speak with him, with honesty, and calmness. If he won't help himself, then I guess I will have to let him go, and learn. And if he kills himself, I guess I will be forever in grief and heartache. Not much I can do for someone that won't help themselves. I've 4 people in my famiy, that I have helped, to no positive result. Time for me to stop. Thank you for the prayers. Please keep praying for Chris. I have faith in him. I just hope he learns "life", like we all have at that age, and "gets over it, quickly".
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Old Apr 13, 2004, 12:08 pm   #12
outdoorgirl
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Name: Debbie
Central, Michigan USA
Muskegon
Join Date: Apr 5, 2004
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Tracey

My prayes are with you. Stay strong. It always helps to talk about it. You have a long haul ahead. My brother has been clean now for over 20 years now. Thank God and the people who were there for our family. My heart goes out to you and your family.

outdoorgirl
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 12:55 am   #13
morelmaniac
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Name: Gina
Northern, Indiana USA
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Posts: 204

Tracy,
Sometimes as parents all we can do is offer "tough love." It truly is hard to help our children when they do not want the help. I will pray that God shows Chris in some manner that he is not on the right path. When things go wrong He'll make them right...Just remember God is Good ALL THE TIME. Again You and Chris will be in my prayers.
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 9:40 am   #14
Tracey
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Name: Tracey
Southern, Michigan USA
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Thank you all for the kind words and prayers. Spoke with Chris over the phone, but not much was said, because I want to do this in person. It's been a rollercoaster with this son, for the past 4 yrs. And with every dip, and turn, is another heartstopping, revelation. Common sense and morals must have fell out on the "loop~d~loop". Chris has God-given personality, and charm, unfortunately, does not use it for positive happiness. I can blame many. I can feel guilt as well. But, I have learned, a long time ago, that each, must be accountable for their own. I can offer guidance, and love, and just hope for the best. I know and understand Chris's inner pain. But he needs to be the one to understand it, and change the direction. Climbing from the pits of hell, is not easy. But it can be done. As a note to that: Aaron (my brother) is staying clean. Thanks to himself, God, and the legal system. It just might be the path Chris will have to go as well. Thank you Rex, for the "mom" letter. They should pass them out to all new mothers.
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 11:15 am   #15
DGBAY
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Name: Deborah
Northern, Indiana USA
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Tracey,
You know that "deep down" Chris has all the love and the morals that you taught him. And more than likely, the lower Chris goes.....the more all of this he will begin to bring out.

And, when a person is helpless, they are usually desperate and they confidently begin to appeal to God's loving heart and they begin to realize and pray:

("Love and morals I have in me...but refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on Thee, Oh Leave me not alone. Support and comfort me.") Amen

We can look to God and have faith that Chris will do this...... and if he can just give the battle to the Lord, then the victory is certain......

My continued prayers........
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 11:23 am   #16
lindamay
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Name: linda
Southern, Indiana USA
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Sorry to hear about all your troubles. Not to much else hurts as bad to see your children need help and won't let us help. Prayers to you and all your family.
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 1:05 pm   #17
Judy
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Name: Judy
Central, Michigan USA
St. Johns
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Tracey, I guess this is the teacher in me speaking. Is there any chance that the probation officer can get Chris into counseling? Once you have really spoken your heart to Chris and let him know how you are feeling, I guess there is not much more you can do if he does not want the help. Then your conscience should be free of guilt. Just my thoughts. Tough Love is hard but sometimes the only way to go. Just my thoughts at the moment. Judy
Ps Four years of problems will not be corrected with a quick fix.
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Old Apr 14, 2004, 11:21 pm   #18
morelmaniac
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Name: Gina
Northern, Indiana USA
Join Date: Feb 7, 2003
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Tracy,
I was starting to read a bood today, and I thought about Chris. I think you might want to let him know this:
God, open my eyes to see that there are eternal consequences
in even the smallest choices of my life. Remind me to look past
what is temporary and focus on what will last forever. Teach me
to live in light of eternity.
Just want to help you, Tracy, But I know God will see you through!
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Old Apr 15, 2004, 8:47 am   #19
Tracey
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Name: Tracey
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Thank You Morelmaniac, it just might help in some way! I will copy/paste and send it Instant Message to him. Actually yesterday, we talked a bit, online, and I sent him Deb's ("Love and morals I have in me...but refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on Thee, Oh Leave me not alone. Support and comfort me.") Amen. Chris's reply was- Amen. I asked if he is feeling better. He complains of being tired all the time. I told him he is probably depressed, because of chemical imbalances. (Adding other chemicals, will definitely make it worse). But, chemical imbalances are hereditary, and I explained to him, like I have numerous times before, that he needs to learn to deal with this problem. There are things he can do to get himself balanced. One may be medication. But, we also know, from his previous experiences with anti-depressants, that he gets more depressed. So I will have to talk with him further, on getting a good diagnosis and treatment. Judy, I do believe that counselling is usually a part of probation. Not sure, if it is for Chris, but I will find out. Thank you all for the continued prayers and support. It's comforting for me. I know it's been a struggle for him. TY.
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