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Old Mar 18, 2009, 9:18 am   #1
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Name: Leonard
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Shelby Twp.
Join Date: Apr 26, 2004
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Irish Joke

Great Irish Joke..
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The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of
mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone
rang. "Hallo, Mr. Prime Minister!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is
Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform
you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," The Frenchman replied, "This is indeed important news! How
big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me
cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"

The Prime Minister responded "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one
hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next
day, Paddy called again.

"Mr. Prime Minister, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some
infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
hundred fifty-thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex
is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we
last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and
decided there's no way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners...

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire,but it takes a whole box to start a campfire??

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