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Old Dec 30, 2008, 4:34 am   #1
Name: Frank
Central, Michigan USA
Midland Co.
Join Date: Feb 7, 2003
Posts: 8,245

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Country Wisdom

Country Wisdom

1..Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

2..A bumble bee is faster than a tractor.

3..Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

4..Meanness don't happen overnight.

5..Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

6..Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

7..Don't corner something meaner than you.

8..It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

9..You can't unsay a cruel thing.

10..Every path has some puddles.

11..When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

12..The best sermons are lived, not preached.

13..Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

14..Don't squat with your spurs on.

15.. Don't judge people by their relatives, unless they're from Texas.

16.. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

17.. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think
back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

18.. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

19.. Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

20.. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but
how well you bounce.

21.. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

22.. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

23.. It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

24.. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder
it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

25.. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop

26.. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

27.. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

28.. Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

29.. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with
watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

30.. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try
orderin' somebody else's dog around.

31.. Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth
is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

32.. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

33.. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes
from bad judgment.

34.. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it
back in.

35.. You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get

36.. Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

37.. Always drink upstream from the herd.

38.. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

39.. Don't eat yellow snow.


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Old Dec 30, 2008, 4:37 am   #2
Name: Frank
Central, Michigan USA
Midland Co.
Join Date: Feb 7, 2003
Posts: 8,245

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Things you'll never hear a redneck say

Things You Would NEVER Hear A Redneck Say

39. `I`ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex`
38. Duct tape won`t fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I`ll have a Heineken.
35. We don`t keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can`t feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it`s not safe.
30. Wrasslin`s fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We`re vegetarians.
27. Do you think my hair is too big?
26. I`ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
24. Who`s Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn`t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I`ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I`ve got it all on a floppy disk.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancee, Betty Jo, is registered at Tiffany`s.
11. I`ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She`s too old to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here`s an episode of `Hee Haw` that we haven`t seen.
5. I don`t have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

1. Elvis who?


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Old Dec 30, 2008, 11:14 am   #3
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Name: tom
Southern, Ohio usa
Join Date: May 8, 2005
Posts: 1,788

Talking Re: Country Wisdom

i think i can relate to that.tom
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