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Old Jun 15, 2010, 3:58 am   #1
Frank
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Apology for a year ago in June 2009

In June 2009 a terrible thing happened to our Michigan Morel family.
Hundreds of members and all their posts, were deleted because of it.

It caused a lot of confusion and some pain to some, because people had come to depend on this website to communicate with each other.

What happened?

I'll "try" to explain, but I'm still not sure myself, so bear with me.

For the past couple of years or more a few members took pleasure in either aggravating me subtlety, or trying to make the forum their own.

Some took pleasure in talking down, or being just downright rude, to people of lesser knowledge.
I spent years trying to come to terms with those folks who continued to do that, but to no avail.

Others, one or two, seemed to decide to take pot shots at me but never really say what was on their minds.
They often blatantly refused to follow the general forum guidelines, as well as guidelines to specific forums.
I asked one particular individual many, many times over the years, what I was doing to aggravate him. He always replied that he had saved posts and etc. but yet he never produced when I asked him for them. I just wanted to learn what I had done or said to offend, if anything. This person loudly proclaimed to be my friend, but behind the scenes, he wasn't. He broke a trust not only between myself and him, but between him and many other people he called friends.

Many of you still call him a friend. That's up to you. But let me tell you a story.

After I removed him from the forums, and sent some articles back to him he had given me, he sent me a letter stating that ANY further communication, email, letter or otherwise, he would try to get a harassment suit against me.

He also proclaimed loudly in the forums that he would NEVER accept a refund of his donation to the website. But, guess what? I sent him a refund check even AFTER he claimed a harassment suit if I contacted him again, and low and behold the check was cashed.

I did not communicate with him after that. But... he continued to send me annoying emails through out the year. I finally responded after he decided to join michigan morels again, and tell me to watch the back door. I responded that he was not welcomed, and that I was in the midst of planning my mothers funeral. And he continued to send emails all during the time of mom's funeral planning and mourning.
His last email said "it was just a joke". SOME JOKE eh?! You still want to call him a friend?

As you must have learned by now this one individual was the one most responsible for my aggravation.

But... it wasn't just him.

I've dealt with the likes of him over the years and did just fine. What was different this time was my state of mind.
I was VERY depressed. I had already been out of work for over a year without even unemployment, and was forced to accept early retirement at reduced benefits. We were behind in bills and still are for that matter. But at the time, it was affecting both Debbie and I. I was deep in a major depression.

If any of you have ever had that, you know your judgment, and ability to cope, has long gone out the window.
You find yourself feeling slighted, insulted, ignored, misused, and what have you. You find yourself snapping at your loved one for the littlest reason, real or perceived. You want to dig a hole, crawl in and cover up in it.
It's horrible to go go thru,if you get through. Many don't. I will and I'm still working on it.

So in the end it is My Blame
for what happened to the forums last year. I over reacted in a major way because of depression. I could have probably removed 10 people and gotten the results I wanted. But I just wanted and needed to be free of the pressure, and so I deleted hundreds of people and their post. THAT was a big mistake, and I greatly apologize for it. I even tried to restore the old database back, but couldn't do it. So we have a great loss of info. And that is my own stupid fault.

I'm so very sorry.

I'm trying to rebuild again, but will need your help.
I still insist on a friendly place, but one with people willing to help out newcomers to the sport of wild mushroom hunting

Please forgive me, if you can.
I am so very, very sorry. I apologize to all who didn't deserve to be removed.

Just me,
Frank
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Old Jun 15, 2010, 3:33 pm   #2
Judy
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Name: Judy
Central, Michigan USA
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Smile Re: My Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Frank, I am not even sure you need to ask to be forgiven, but remember we are all human, with our faults included. I have to agree that probably some of the people you removed need not have been, but that is water over the bridge. I have not experienced depression but you had an awful lot on your plate and it happens. I see the site rebuilding. I don't think it can ever be like it was, but it is slowly climbing uphill. I do miss so much some of our old posters and wish they would return. They added a lot to this site. Now we need to look forward and not back. What was done is done. I see that glimmer in your eyes again and know you are moving forward too. Things will work out, keep the faith as you always tell others. You and Debbie are wonderful, caring people and only want what is best for all of us. Love to a very caring couple. Judy
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Old Jun 15, 2010, 5:49 pm   #3
tom.c
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Southern, Ohio usa
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Re: My Apology for a year ago in June 2009

no apology needed here frank. sometimes we all do some things we later regret,but just need to react at times.i do it quite often,then wonder if i was right or wrong.dont worry about it.life is way too short. im proud to have you guys as friends,or maybe i could say extended family.thanks,tom
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Old Jun 15, 2010, 6:42 pm   #4
Bachflock
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Re: My Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Frank, thank you for this site. In the heat of emotions decisions become clouded. You made the best choices you could at the time and its takes a big person to say what you've said. Well done.
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Old Jun 16, 2010, 6:43 am   #5
picker
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Kudos Frank
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Old Jun 16, 2010, 7:05 am   #6
big amish
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

I am also a member on the "other site" which seems to be the home of the exiles. I enjoy both sites because they are very different, and to go back I think would be a mistake. Your site Frank, is a friendly fun place to go with a very positive feel. The other site seems to be more brash with more manly bantering, but more technical and serious. I think there is room in Michigan (and the internet) for both sites. I enjoy both for different reasons, the only problem is deciding which to go to first when I'm on the net.
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Old Jun 18, 2010, 6:25 am   #7
Frank
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your support and understanding.
Life sucks sometimes and we end up doing stupid things. then we gotta pay the price.

Big Amish, I'm well aware of where most of the previous exiled members went. I have no problem with that and I still have a link to Mikes site as well. This is not a feud between sites. Mike has a great site at nmc. This was a problem between me and just a few previous members, that I let escalate to proportions that I shouldn't have.
Hope you understand the difference.

I'm sure some of you are wondering why it took a year for me to apologize. Well, until Feb I didn't know if I was going to keep the site running or not. I did absolutely nothing with from end of June last year until Feb this year. The reason I waited until June, is that this all went down in June. I saw no reason to expose all the spring time people to it, if they weren't part of it to begin with.

Anyway there is only a handful that is not welcome back. I'm pretty sure they know who they are, because of all the talks we had prior to my melt down.

I've lost some very valuable members, and that is part of the price I have to pay. But that don't make me miss them any less.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 10:39 am   #8
Guido
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Name: Dave
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Hi Frank,

We all make mistakes. I should know, as I made one here on these forums about 8 or 10 years back. I'm sure you recall that incident. I am "out of the loop" as to the specific incident you are referring to in this post, but your apology here, and your actions at the time of my "incident", show you to be a sincere and honorable man. I believe that the forum is in good and competent hands under the guidance of you and Debbie, and I trust that your judgment was correct. The fact that you've issued a public apology a year later seems sufficient proof that you give these matters a lot of careful thought. You have my full support.
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Old Jun 23, 2010, 4:15 am   #9
Frank
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

Thank you Guido. That means a lot to me.

You know i don't even remember what we clashed over, but I just considered it a head bump, and we moved on. Gosh, you've been here forever Dave. Only thing I wish you'd do more of is post. you have a lot of info to share with folks.
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Old Jun 23, 2010, 10:01 pm   #10
Debbie
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Re: Apology for a year ago in June 2009

I am proud of you honey. I know it is very painful to talk about for you. I know how the Board lives in you and because of you. It has been hard to see you go into a depression, I hate to see you that down.

You have been more than fair 98% of the time. There have been so many issues and problems that most of the other members aren't even aware of. The threats, rants and raves we have both gotten. The person/people responsible for this time are the ones that need to live with what they provoked in you. I feel badly as well, I think that I didn't try hard enough to keep you "up and happy". I wasn't sure just what my role should be. I was NOT impressed with the crap you were given to deal with during the week of Mom's funeral. That was so uncalled for and unbelievably childish.

I love you Frank. I am glad you still have your family here as well as your blood family.
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