Old Age ain't for sissies!

**Frank** · Jul 16, 2011, 3:02 am

Just before the funeral service the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I've got poor circulation; can't hardly feel my hands or feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98. Not to mention I've lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief”

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..

BikerDude · Jul 16, 2011, 8:57 am

Good ones! Too true to be funny @ our age! LOL

Justapickin · Jul 16, 2011, 6:17 pm

LMAO...

chigger · Jul 16, 2011, 7:54 pm

good one! #3 reminded me of my sis in law
I specially like the last one
May post that on my fb page

Jul 16, 2011, 3:02 am	#1
Frank Host Name: Frank Central, Michigan USA Midland Co. Join Date: Feb 7, 2003 Posts: 6,448	Old Age ain't for sissies! Just before the funeral service the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I've got poor circulation; can't hardly feel my hands or feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98. Not to mention I've lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.. But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief” THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.. __________________ Frank Some of the best people are found right here. - You! Who owned the Michigan Morel Plates before I did? Click Here

Jul 16, 2011, 8:57 am	#2
BikerDude Family member Name: Jim Central, Michigan USA Midland Co. Join Date: Feb 10, 2003 Posts: 2,104	Re: Old Age ain't for sissies! Good ones! Too true to be funny @ our age! LOL __________________ BikerDude. Be Yourself. (Everyone else is taken!)

Jul 16, 2011, 7:54 pm	#4
chigger Enhanced Membership Name: Sharon Southern, Michigan usa Centreville Join Date: Apr 23, 2006 Posts: 1,191	Re: Old Age ain't for sissies! good one! #3 reminded me of my sis in law I specially like the last one May post that on my fb page

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Jul 16, 2011, 6:17 pm	#3
Justapickin Full Member Name: Gary Northern, Michigan USA Join Date: Apr 26, 2003 Posts: 1,818	Re: Old Age ain't for sissies! LMAO...