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Old Jul 27, 2004, 9:19 pm   #1
Tracey
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Desperate, and seeking prayers.

Let me first begin by saying, that I haven't been on lately, and the biggest reason is due to the situation that has been going on, and my need for prayers. Frank and Deb got the opportunity to meet my daughter at the dinner. She was pleasant and happy-go-lucky. Problems started practically, the very next day. Defiance has always been a problem. But since that day, it has progressed to unbelieveable proportions. I have had to deal with new stunts, in her defiant quest. I started taking her to a therapist, (and THAT evens starts the "motor to hell") Anyways she has been also diagnosed ODD(oppositional defiance disorder), on top of the ADHD. The stress of everything is causing me to have anxiety problems. (fearful of what the next day is going to bring). I am begging for prayers. I don't know how or what will bring my baby back, except for prayers. I can't even get her to take her medication. Just know, that my life for the past 2 1/2 months has been like hell on earth. No one knows what it's like, unless they are living it. I get alot of unwanted remarks, comments and pointers on what I should do, but it's always from people that have "no clue". Truly, right now, i am venting, because there has been a small break in the chaos. But it will begin again, soon. I could handle the adhd, to a point. But this new one, is more than I can handle alone. Please pray for Cheyenne to get better. And you can say a prayer for me, to be able to handle it. I went through similiar problems with my son, and he's doing much better with his decision-making, but Cheyenne is much worse. And I have the added burden of her dad, telling her it's ok to act that way. Thank you, friends, in advance. If I wasn't crazy before, I'm heading that way now.
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 12:49 am   #2
miker
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Tracey sorry to hear about it, I know ADHD is tough to deal with from first hand experience, I couldn't imagine that on top of it, wil keep you and Cheyenne in my prayers. miker
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 1:56 am   #3
morelmaniac
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Tracy,
I went through what you are now going through for three years before I could get the doctor to take me seriously about my son. I know how tring your daughter can be (relating to my experience with Austin,) Just keep to your guns. I will pray that it gets easier for you. Have you heard of the book, " 1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph. D. Not sure how old Cheyenne is but this is very effective disciple for 2-12. I learned a lot of things that I was doing was intaginazing him to keep acting up. Feel free to email me to just have some one to talk to anytime. I have delt with this problem ontop on Britt's problems, and now have decided for the best interest and guidance for them I will be home schooling them, for the one on one that they need. I do feel for you and there is tricks to getting her to take her meds. Just have to be slyer than she. My thoughts and prayers are there for her and you.
Your friend,
MM
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 6:02 am   #4
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Tracey, my heart goes out to you both at this time. It can be so traumatic the teen years, then add these problems and it turns into a living nightmare for all concerned.

I will spare you the "advice" section and just tell you that if you ever want to talk, even just to vent, please call me. I am more than willing to listen and maybe will even have an idea or so to help you both out, never know.

Hang in there as someday you will see the little girl you loved start to peek out again more and more.

Debbie
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 11:18 am   #5
Tracey
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I only have a few moments, as we are off to another counselling appt. But I wanted to say thank you for the kind words and prayers. I have been patient in waiting for things to turn around (thinking that hormones are probably playing a role). But I am not a professional in having to deal with these kind of matters, and to be honest, thought I had seen, and done it all, to be able to handle the situation. But, at this point, I am truly lost. I think I am very naive' to what has been actually going on. I have been just living from one minute to the next, in hopes that things will get better with the proper handling of each new situation. I never really paid much attention to what I call the "generation x" type diagnosises. They can give it a diagnosis, but can't give me answers as to "how" or "why". They easily spout "enviromental" factors, but can't do any brain tests unless there are physical characteristics as well. I'm just frustrated by the whole situation. I believe in prayer. I trust in God. And that is pretty much what I am left with. I think today, I will take her to a spot I've been wanting to check for some mushrooms. It's pretty secluded, so I won't have to worry too much about her wandering away. Bless you all. I love my friends here. And thanx for letting me vent.
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 2:38 pm   #6
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Tracey,
I will say prayers for you and Cheyenne. The walk in the woods sounds like a good one on one. Hope it turns out good. It's a pretty day here, and hoping it's the same there for your walk.

God Bless...
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 3:08 pm   #7
charlie
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Tracey, We have raised 5 kids & never had a problem like that, so I won't comment. But I can offer my prayers & wish you good luck. God Bless!
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Old Jul 28, 2004, 4:54 pm   #8
Judy
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Tracey, I too will be keeping your daughter, you, and family in my prayers. I can only imagine how stressful this must be. I am so glad you are trying to get her some help. Hang in there. Judy
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Old Jul 31, 2004, 1:42 am   #9
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I hope you are not driving yourself crazy by wondering if you are doing the exact "right" thing each and every time Tracey. That can and will defeat your natural loving parent instinct.

I don't know of a single perfect parent. Never in time has there ever been nor will there ever be "a perfect parent". So hang in there and let God and nature take it's course.

Of course we are all here for you and will be offering up prayers.
You've made many friends through this board. Just look at the sea of shoulders for you to lean on.

You and Cheyenne will make it through this and you both shall live. Just maybe not quietly.
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Old Aug 3, 2004, 12:52 am   #10
Tracey
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Thank you for the prayers! Please keep 'em coming! I'll keep this short, as I'm very tired. But, basically Cheyenne said things in counselling, that caused the counsellor to recommend her being placed in a residential treatment center. I have been worried sick for days, fearing they were coming to take her away. And it still may be a possibility. But, I have comfort now, in knowing that Cheyenne said she wasn't going anywhere. (meaning= she will work hard at controlling her problems) I didn't think the state could just come in and remove children, without first doing an investigation. But, after consulting my attny. was informed that they remove first, ask questions later, and if she continues her behaviors, could end up in the system for years. I have praying to no end. We've had many talks and many loud talks over the past few days. I explained what ODD was, and just like the adhd, it is not her fault. Just something she was born with. But it is up to her to learn to manage it properly. I explained that now she can also be a role model for her dad, because he has struggled for years, and I don't want her to struggle like he has. And that seemed to give her positive encouragement. So hopefully all this chaos will at least be manageable. She is such a sweet girl. And I won't give up on her. And please know that I am so blessed to have such great people to confide in. And thank you soooo much for the prayers. I'll know more in the next few days, as to what's going to happen. I will re-post then.
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