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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:26 pm   #1
Frank
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Icon15 Lighten up eh?

I was so depressed last night. I called Lifeline.

I got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
---------------------------


PERKS OF BEING OVER 50


1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6 There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to every one you can remember.

----------------------------------------------------

A man had lost one of his arms. One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on the top of a building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself. I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, 'Why are you so happy anyway?'
He said, 'I'm NOT happy .... My butt itches!
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:32 pm   #2
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OK, I'm bored again. LOL Just thought I post these and say a quick hello from St Louis before turning in for the night. Early morning delivery.

Glad the ice/snow storm is finally over. Fun huh. r i g h t.

Take care everyone. Stay warm and safe, and a Merry Christmas to all of you.
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:38 pm   #3
Justapickin
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LOL....thanks for the lil' pick me up there Frank.....
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:39 pm   #4
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Hi Gary. How you doin besides blowing/plowing/shoveling snow today?
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:44 pm   #5
Justapickin
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Doing good here Frank if ir were'nt for the shoveling,digging and plowing...LOL
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:44 pm   #6
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Where are ya at tonight?
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:50 pm   #7
Frank
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St Louis
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:52 pm   #8
Justapickin
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Ya get hung up in any of that bad weather down that way....I'm sick of winter already ......
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:56 pm   #9
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I got lucky Gary. I had to drive from MI to Gary/Chicago area just as it started, but stayed overnite at Gary, and waited until about 10 am today to take off, so the roads were pretty well cleared off for me. Whew! Dodged this one.
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:57 pm   #10
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I've got to run for now. Deb is on the phone with me right now and she says to pass on her hello and best wishes to everyone too.

Catch ya's later.
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